June 18, 2010 § Leave a comment
There is a communicative cornerstone to what it means to be an artist. Maybe that is why I always listen for the story that an artist is trying to convey through his/her medium when I observe…be it through my sight, hearing, touch or taste…or just intuitively sense it.
What am I feeling? What is it that the artist is trying to get me to understand? What is it that the artist wants to leave me with? And maybe sometimes I make it all mean too much…in fact, I probably do.
I am going through an interesting space in my life…where I am consciously tapping into my own creativity…consciously making space for myself to make mistakes, to take new ground, to learn new things about my gifts, to explore new and old spaces for myself. I don’t know where any of these efforts will take me…I am just letting myself quietly follow the longing in my heart. The longing to be surrounded by music, the longing to create music with my entire body, the longing to dance whenever I hear music, the urge to constantly sing. I am just following that…and seeing where it leads me.
I have tried planning things out and plotting things out, tried to make sense of who I am and who I am supposed to be and I always come back to the same conclusions — that I need to communicate myself with this world, that I need to be enveloped in the space of the arts and its growth and that I love music. That is all I know…and I am becoming more and more convinced that is all I need to know.
Still scared…very scared in fact. But I promised myself to do everything that terrifies and excites me…so I continue to take steps, continue to consciously push myself into the space that I have always been enthralled with…I have a strange feeling, in spite of the massive fear, that God has some pretty cool things in store for me.
And I will continue to communicate my story, my feelings, all of it with whoever reads this blog…there is nothing more that I can do…communication is at the crux of my spirit.