Folding and Unfolding
August 5, 2009 § Leave a comment
She sits, curled up in her bed, folding her body into herself. She appears completely enthralled by the book she is reading. However, she can barely concentrate on any of the words before her eyes. All she can see are the tears welling up in her eyes. All she can hear are her parents yelling again, on the floor below her bedroom. All she can feel is anxiety, confusion and pain as the two individuals who she turns to for information in this world tear each other apart.
She sits, curled up in her bed, folding her body into herself. This time there is no book nor is she even focused on the movie being shown on the Lifetime Channel. All she can reflect on is when she was a little girl, afraid to make a wrong move or say the wrong thing. She hates the confrontation inherent in growing up. It leaves her heart racing and her eyes wild. But she will be tough. She has to be against the assault of the world upon her emotional psyche.
She extends, unfolding her body from within its cocoon, steadying herself. She recognizes that she must move forward since it is the way life goes. She cannot remain curled up all of the time, chained by the memories of her childhood. She must be tough. For herself. For her family. For her loved ones. She cannot remain curled up as she wishes to be. No one ever came to unfold her from within herself — to comfort her in her moments of anxiety, frustration and fear and to show her that confrontation does not mean all of the world will fall apart. So, she unfolds herself and stands. Telling herself she is ready for battle. Is she ready?