Protect My Soul…
April 23, 2009 § 1 Comment
It never ceases to amaze how people can truly disappoint me and how I continue to fall into the same trap. Is it because I want to believe that people are better than what the originally show you? Is it because I know that if I start expecting less from people that it will only lead me to accept less than I deserve? Or is just that I enjoy being disappointed?
I am not sure — but I am sick of it. So since I know that I am not going to lower my expectations because I do not want accept less from life — I am only left with one option.
I am going to have to start cutting people out of my life. It is essential that I protect my soul from the harshness of the world and of people…otherwise, I become just as eroded and downtrodden as so many people I see all around me. And that thought — the thought of having my soul completely eroded away so that I do not feel any motivation to truly enjoy life? That thought horrifies me. Maybe it is because I am “young” — but something in the pit of my soul knows that there is more to life than disappointment, fear, hurt and pain…you just have to keep holding on. And the only way I can be strong enough to keep holding on is if I let go of the people who are just pulling on me instead of helping to keep my hold strong.
I know I have probably said this before, but I will keep saying it until I am consciously choosing the right people to stay in my life and those who I need to take out of my life.
It is SO essential that I protect my soul because NO ONE ELSE can do it for me…not even people who are supposed to be family or who are actually family. Family just consists of those people who you came into the world with — obviously for some people, family doesn’t mean anything more than just some random people who got smashed together. So…I have to protect my soul, my heart, my eyes, my ears, my mouth — everything. All of these parts of myself are an opening into my soul and I gotta protect my soul…I just have to.