Upside of Anger
March 20, 2009 § Leave a comment
I used to be afraid of being angry. I used to be afraid of offending other people, especially my loved ones. I used to be afraid of people being unhappy with me.
I am no longer afraid. Now, I am just angry.
It is always funny to me when people are rattled when other people are angry. I am now convinced those people who are just unnerved by people who are angry are actually afraid of their own anger.
I am no longer afraid of my own anger. I understand it for what it is…another emotion that I experience as fully as any other. My anger is….my anger is, at this very moment, a catalyst. A catalyst to move me to another platform. I realize that I am usually too nice, too kind, too forgiving to actually move onto other things. It usually takes me hitting a breaking point for me to make a move on the things that I have been observing for far too long.
And that log time that it takes me to make a move allows me to really observe situations and people but it is also sometimes gets me stuck in situations that I should have left a long time ago. And I am tired of doing that. I am tired of giving way too much leeway to people and situations….way too much.
So right now, I am angry…because far too many times I have been so dependable, so great at executing and implementing, and so great at keeping track of things. Now, I am angry and tired of always being in that box — who wants to just be great at following directions and always being there? I am angry at always being always.
And that is the upside of anger….it gets your ass moving, doesn’t it?