Soulmate? Nope…not for me…

November 18, 2008 § Leave a comment


I do not believe in soulmates.

I truly do not….at least not anymore.

I believe that the concept of a soulmate, quite frankly, sets people up for disaster in two ways.

One – It leads people to  believe that there is only individual out there with whom one is completely compatibale with, leading people to not really put in the time and work and commitment that is needed to help any relationship flourish.

Two – It enables people to be reactive in relationships rather than proactive. If you believe that your one true soulmate exists in this world, then you are of the opinion that the world is going to bring your soulmate to you. That is not how the world workds. We call things into our lives, we bring things, people, and situations into our lives — whether or not we wish to admit that is a whole ‘nother ball game.

So, I do not believe in soulmates anymore. Quite simply, I do not want to wait around for my “soulmate” to enter my life and make me happy. If I wait around for him to come, I may just miss him and/or I might get someone not at all suited for me simply because I am looking for those lovey-dovey signs that may make me feel that a man is my soulmate.

No, I want a teammate. I want a co-captain on this journey called life.

I know what I have written may sound harsh or even lacking those bubbly, doey-eyed feelings of love. Please do not get me wrong — I am that chick who cries hard at The Notebook and I love every second of it, lol. However, even the main characters of The Notebook had to work hard at their love and at remaining in love. The amazing chemistry was there but they also fought like all hell and they had to work every day to keep their love burning bright….that is where the dedication and commitment and effort truly kick in.

So, I am looking for a teammate….a man who can be my side and who wants me to be my very best and who is commited to nurturing me and pushing me to be my best. A man who I am proud of, who I deeply respect, who I am highly attracted to, and whose brain I just love to pick apart. A man who will support me in all the ways that I grow and express myself, even if it is annoying to him sometime. Even if he disagrees. A man who can hold my hand when I am scared but not hold me too long that I forget what it feels like to stand on my own.

I want a teammate….and I want to be a teammate.

I want to be the woman who holds you if you need to cry, has faith in you even when you yourself think your ideas sound “crazy”, and who adores you to no end. I want to be the woman who raises you up when you are down and stands by your side as you stride and run through life, reaching your highest self, your highest goals. I want to be the woman who can nurture you as a man and who thinks you are the sexiest being to walk this Earth. I want to be the woman who trusts you with her life while simultaneously asking you to be more than even you imagined you could be.

You see, to me, all that I have described above has noting at all to do with being a soulmate….being a soulmate implies that there is nothing to work at, no spaces to grow in since everything is already perfect and in sync.

Naw….I want a teammate. Everyone has a team…even Oprah Winfrey has a massive team of people who help her be herself every freaking day. And I am grateful to God that my team of people includes so many beautiful and inspiring family, friends, and acquaintances. But I am looking for that teammate who can be my co-captain. Who I trust above all else to steer me back in the right direction because I will get lost sometimes….that is a matter of fact. I got my team and I am deeply humbled that I am even able to say that at this age…..but I am looking for a co-captain.

Care to join my team? 😉

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