‘By grace you have been saved through faith…it is the gift of God”

August 10, 2008 § Leave a comment

I am saved by God’s grace.

I am here right now because of God’s mercy and because of God’s grace. Mercy is when we are spared from receiving what we should receive and grace is when we are given what we do not deserve. And I am grateful that God has extended both of these to me.

I am not a very religious…I rarely ever go to church, I sometimes even cringe at the thought of going to church because I just have never been comfortable with going to church on a regular basis. It is nothing against those who find comfort in church, it is simply that I find comfort in seeking God in regular conversations and finding God’s beauty in everyday experiences….I tend to bond with God in my introspective moments and my reflections.

Some people do not believe in God and that is their choice. But I know that I cannot not believe in God — I see and find God’s love, grace, mercy and trust in and for my life everywhere I turn.

You see (I write that alot, don’t I? lol), I have been doing a lot of reflection as of late upon my relationships with individuals in my life and what it all means. And I think it is because I am entering a phase where I am making more conscious decisions about the people in my life and deciding for myself whether or not I am willing to work on any issues that might come up. I know that sometimes I decide to cut myself off from people in a way to seemingly protect my heart and my soul rather than push back and try to work through things — and I am still learning that that choice may not always be the best one. But I also have learned a very important lesson — that sometimes, because I care so much about the people in my life, I want them to change because I know that what I am suggesting will help them with their severe pain and help them to not feel so terrible. I want them to improve themselves not for myself, but because I know it will help their pain and help them to be better for themselves.

However, I have now realized that I cannot become so obsessed with “helping people to improve” that I forget that maybe, just maybe, they may need to go through this pain right now in order to get them out onto the other side. I cannot push just because I can clearly see the next step they need to take — they cannot see as clearly because they are in the thick of their pain. So I have learned that sometimes, when I become so obsessed in trying to help, I might come off as less empathetic and less helpful than I originally intended. Instead of just listening, instead of just offering a supportive shoulder, instead of just being there with the individual, I can easily get wrapped up in the moment of “helping” by giving advice, guidance, and lessons from my own experiences.

The way I realized this is through God speaking to me through a Bible verse and a sermon in church (ironic, huh?). I recently happened to read through this specific Bible verse (Esphesians 2:1-10) that struck me. It struck me because it spoke of the grace that God bestows upon each and every single one of us although we are not perfect in the least bit. So if I am not perfect and God continues to love me, continues to extend grace and mercy to me — why can’t I extend this same grace and mercy to my loved ones, family, even strangers? This message was then reinforced in church when the pastor spoke of our pride and our forgetfulness of God’s grace and mercy. I smiled to myself because I understood that God was speaking to me directly — and I realized that I needed to accept His message.

I realized that this message is encouraging me to not get so wrapped up in my own self and the things that I have learned and become so proud of those aspects that I forget that not only has everyone not learned the same lessons as I have quite yet but that there are plenty of lessons that I have yet to learn — which makes all of us equal on the plane of imperfection. It is not my job to teach people the lesson but to be there with people to help them breathe and begin to see clearly in the thick of their pain, so they can see the direction towards the lesson…just as they are there with me to help me through my past, present, and future pain to see clearly to find my own lessons.

I thank God for these lessons and for His continued grace, mercy, guidance, and love.

Thank you God.


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